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THE PROFESSOR'S THOUGHTS

This is where I share personal lessons, biblical wisdom and practical ideas you may apply to life.

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Christian Dating on Fleek

Wanna know the Pros, Cons, advantages and disadvantages of using various dating websites and apps? I gotchu! After, using dating websites and apps for about 6 years in search of a wife and having found one on a dating app, I definitely have some great insights for singles. Especially Christians. Let's get it!

Below I will get into relevant topics to the life of people, drawing from my own experiences and sharing the same type of wisdom many friends have come to me for over the years, but here on a larger scale. 

Spiritual Food on Regular Intervals (Spirit)

The #1 Ingredient for a healthy life is the spiritual food our spirit receives. This is one of my strongest attributes.

Mental Transformation (Soul)

Only through God's Word are we able to be transformed, but we are also able to retrain ourselves by what we read in books that may train us to think a certain way about various subjects.

Physical Fitness (Body)

We need to keep our body physically fit to allow us to serve humanity with the calling & anointing on us to prevent tiring or giving out before our divine time to leave the earth.

Individual Coaching
Spiritual Check-Ups
Conference Speaker
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Spiritual "Meal" Planning

Take Your Purpose to the Next Level!

Christian Dating On Fleek

In this photo, I am with wifey in the back of the vehicle in which I was being driven to the airport. I love this woman more than any other woman I have ever been with in my life. She is the answer to years of struggle, prayers, tears, heartache, pain, betrayal, deceit and many other things.  

As far as I am concerned God blessed me in a way I could never have imagined and it was a long enough wait for her, but to have her the rest of my life was a wait well worth it to have a woman like her to share it with. 

Best to Worst Dating Websites & Apps (#AskNorm):

Tinder

Pros

  • Able to quickly go through profiles to see what you like or don’t like.
  • Short and to the point bios (giving little bits of important information).
  • Quick assessments of important facts
  • Fairly affordable. Not the highest on list of costliness. 

Cons 

  • People may make quick, wrong  assessments of who you are, without knowing you yet. 
  • You are unable to get more than one look (at least for a very long time) from a woman who swiped “left” (saying no to you) at first sight.
  •  Unable to swipe outside of your region (more than 100 miles, as of January 2018) without upgrading to the paid version.

Bumble

Pros

  • Able to quickly go through profiles to see what you like or don’t like.
  • Short and to the point bios (giving little bits of important information).
  • Quick assessments of important facts
  • Their cost for a paid service is minimal. 

Cons

  • People may make quick, wrong  assessments of who you are, without knowing you yet. 
  • You are unable to get more than one look (at least for a very long time) from a woman who swiped “left” (saying no to you) at first sight.
  •  Unable to swipe outside of your region (more than 100 miles, as of 2018) without upgrading to the paid version.
  • ONLY women may send messages first no matter what. If they don’t send a message , even if you both liked each other you will not get a chance to speak to that woman potentially ever again. 

Zoosk

Pros

  • Profiles give in-depth info about the person
  • The carousel feature allows you to see women you would not find using a regular search for the same details about the person.
  • The profiles have an ability to really tell someone about you using sections like “what you like” , “music”, “sports”, etc. These things help to narrow down if a person would really want to pursue you or not also. This also weeds out the people you may not want to even reach out to you.

Cons

  • They hide profiles. I attempted to find a specific person who came up in a “carousel” and even reached out to me with a message and I could not find them using all of the facts and details about them to find them. That is how I knew there was something rigged about their website in a way to make people pay money to connect with people or to obtain more matches or access to profiles. Even when I confronted Zoosk about this fact they never gave the proper response. It may me feel somewhat scammed by them as well. 
  • The “coins” they give you for boosting your visibility take a long time to build up. 
  • Somehow their system allows fake profiles to sneak in somewhat easily.
  • Bang for the buck is not that great.

POF (Plenty of Fish)

Pros

  • Profiles are detailed
  • FREE account that could possibly lead to finding love with lots of quality women (for men) and hopefully, the same applies to men (I have no clue about that. Sorry ladies.)
  • Lots of choices of potential mates.

Cons 

  • Scammers are able to penetrate this website very easily due to free accounts that do not require monetary commitment, no monthly payments to POF. 
  • No separation of transgender accounts from natural-born genders. This sucks for those who are Christians looking for the opposite sex to build a relationship with. 
  • No categories for homosexual or bisexual. This sucks for those who are Christians looking for the opposite sex to build a relationship with. 
  • Certain features are not accessible without a paid account.
  • Cannot send messages to people who have restrictions  on who may reach out to them. 

OK Cupid

Pros

  • Bios are thorough and have the most thorough list of questions they ask to determine what type of person you are to match you with others.
  • They allow people to be blocked from ending you messages in the future. 
  • They allow you to filter out the people you do not want to talk to.
  • Great selection of choices. 
  • Their cost for a paid membership is minimal. 

Cons 

  • Most people do not take the full list of questions to properly break down to who they would be most compatible with. 
  • Even with the most thorough list of questions, some things need to be discussed to get to the root and see if there is truly a discrepancy of principles and thoughts. 

Match

Pros

  • Lots of choices.
  • Number one service on planet as far as on paper (as of January 2018). 
  • Various ways to connect with people, including, in person meet ups and mixers, etc. 

Cons 

  • One of the MOST expensive paid services. 
  • Many women do not reply to messages that do not have some way of truly standing out, because there are so many men reaching out to them (as of January 2018). I cannot speak for how it is for the women.

Christian Mingle

Pros 

  • The biggest and most recognized website that is supposed to be dedicated to Christians only (as of January 2018).
  • Fairly affordable paid membership.

Cons 

  • With all of the denominations one never knows if they believe some small, minute detail the same way, which may or may not cause a big problem in the future. 
  • Not everyone on the website is a Christian. 
  • There was a time when I saw advertisements for a Psychic at the top of the screen, which really shocked me until I found out that the creators of this website created a popular “secular” dating website. 
  • Not many choices of potential mates or relationships within whatever region one lives (as of January 2018). 

Is it Fake or Real? (How To Test Profiles to See if It’s a Scammer)

One of the best ways that I found to quickly expose a Scammer is by asking them a deep question that they give an answer to that makes no sense. 

Another way to expose them is to ask them a question and see if they answer it at all, or do they go on to talk about something else that has nothing to do with what you asked that they did not answer. 

Most Scammers cannot pass this last test, based upon the fact that they have a certain script they want to follow. They want to make you feel close to them quickly, but they want to control how the conversations go instead of allowing it to flow organically.

Whenever a person starts talking about how they live with their uncle, aunt, grandparents, if they tell you their parents died when they were young or a few years ago or anything like that, that is typically their story line that they go to (as of January 2018), they are sure to be a Scammer. I never found anyone to not be a Scammer who talked about that stuff, especially early on without you asking them a question about their parents. (Note: that is not to say that there is no one who has a similar story who could be real and not a scammer, but that requires follow up questions by you.)

Normally, Scammers talk of some major car accident their parents were in, or about how they were old and died some years ago due to old age or some disease. Next thing will be them talking about their financial woes. The reason they bring up the parents dying is to cause you to become emotionally invested in them and to feel a connection to them emotionally, because they think this will cause you too let your guard down and to make you open to a possibility of helping them, because they are in a time of need emotionally and financially. 

Note: Anyone asking you to wire them money, to give them your bank account info for them to wire you money or anything close to that, RUN AWAY IMMEDIATELY!

Overall Comments About Dating Sites

 

Dating sites are the newest way and best way (as of January 2018) for busy singles who are looking to meet someone to meet. Why? Quite simply, it is like being in college or high school or the biggest party on the planet in one easily accessible place. Nothing compares to the plethora of people one may find online in one place, compared to a physical location. Also, they allow for a quick assessment of a person without having to meet them to get to know enough about them to decide whether approaching them would be worth any of your time. When approaching a website search for someone, specifically a mate for life, search with prayer being the first thing you do and asking God to direct you. 

I met my wife on Tinder, and it was only after changing from a free account to a paid account for a one month subscription that I found her. I also had to go out of the country to get her. She was well worth it! See photo above for how gorgeous she is. 

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